Oh my gosh.
THE BAR HAS BEEN RAISED! GOOD LORD!
I started crying at 2:15 and then had to watch this a few times through because my tears made it hard to really see what was happening.
I still love my school. This is the first time ever that I’ve been in the triple digits and not wanted to starve myself or purge. I can’t tell you it hasn’t ever crept into my mind, but then I remember that they love me there, among many other people, and that they don’t care if I’m not as skinny as I was 2 years ago. And it brings me to peace. So, yeah. Feeling loved enough not to want to drop desperately is kind of big for me.
I went to Kamp Kanakuk (Can-uh-kuhk) the summer after fourth grade. I remember at the end of camp we all got these cards that said “I’m Third” on the front of them. On the back it had a story explaining what that meant. (I’ll post a link to that later so I don’t clog your dash if you already know what the story is.) Basically, the gist of the whole story is that God is first, others are second, and I’m third. Meaning we need to set God as our first priority and his wishes and plans for our life above all else in our life. Then we need to honor other’s wishes and their plans and put them up. And finally, our own priorities and wishes need to come third to everyone else’s. It is through this way of living that we can show everyone what a Godly love is like and how Jesus has radically changed our lives; how we can show to those around us that we can put everyone else’s needs above our owns because we know that we are fully invested in the Lord who will work everything out for us as long as we put our earthly desires aside and give everything into Him. I know that was a ridiculously long run on, but I really don’t know how to say this without rambling. It’s like God is just so much sometimes I really can’t focus on writing because there is so much praise to give Him. It’s crazy, yo.
Yeah. So just remember that first comes God, second comes all others, and third comes ourselves.
(The grammar in that sentence.. yeesh)
I needed to hear this today.
I am kinda getting nervous about this. I still have a ton of packing to do.
Prayers please? I know this is just the devil getting in my head.
You’ve got this babe; you’re going to serve your glorious creator by doing what he’s asked: sharing the message and showing his love and the impact of his love.
To my followers, if you wouldn’t mind giving a prayer out to this lovely sister of ours. She’s going off to Peru tomorrow for a missions trip, and for those of you who have been on missions trips to foreign countries, you know the amount of nerves that satan can instill in you. I personally know what falling victim to the doubts feels like, and I can tell you I have an indescribable amount of regret for letting myself succumb to the obstacles put in my way (I’ve told you about those, right?). Thanks all.
I thought that this was really sweet. High school track runner Meghan Vogel saw her competitor, Arden McMath, who was ahead of her for the whole race, fall as her legs collapsed in the last 50 meters. Meghan, rather than running past to claim victory, had seen that it was her third time falling/stumbling, so she sped up to Arden, and rather than passing her, did the good Samaritan thing to do. She picked Arden up and essentially dragged her the last 50 meters, and then made sure Arden crossed the finish line first.
If you ask me, that seems like such a loving thing to do, really romantic. And by romantic I don’t mean the lustful seductive romantic, but the romantic as if goes in the dictionary. Romantic simply means pertaining to love, and as Christians everything we do should be romantic—filled and characterized by the love we’re suppose to have and show for everyone, even our competitors. I’m no track runner, but I do know that high school track ended a while ago, so this must’ve been a big meet (Division III 1,600 meter race). I don’t know how I would respond in this situation. I would hope that I would act as Vogel did, who was disqualified for helping another runner, and show love and support, but I don’t know. I’m sure Vogel knew she’d have some consequence for DQing and helping Mcmath. But she didn’t care about what happened to herself, she cared that McMath got the honor she deserved by placing in front of herself because that’s where she had been the whole race; in front of herself. Vogel put McMath’s needs and desire to win in front of her own, and I think that was an amazing display of love.
To anyone who read my little “vent” post, I’m sorry you had to read that and thank you for understanding. I know Satan uses our insecurities and silly fears and attachments to hurt us and confuse us but I can’t let him. I can’t be afraid that I’ll end up alone, because I will never be alone. God will always be there for me, even if I’m not.
God will provide all the love I need in my life, and I shall love him so much that my love for the Lord will make my love for my family appear as hatred.
Can you imagine that? That there is a love capable of being exponetntially stronger and more powerful than the love you have for your family? It seems unfathomable…
But that’s why He’s so amazing. While we are stuck in sin trying to just fathom the love that is possible for an amazing God as he to have for us, he rescued us. We are the damsels in distress of the greatest love story in all of history.
I read something interesting today. It was posted by someone I consider a close friend of mine and a sister in Christ through whom I have learned much.
She was writing about the dangers of chick flicks and made a really interesting analogy. It was “chick flicks : love :: porn : sexual relations” in other words, saying chick flicks are like pornography for love. And I agree. Chick flicks create a false idea and sense of what a loving relationship between man and wife should be like. Just as pornography ruins the purity and sanctity that should be sex, chick flicks ruin females’ expectations of love and loving one another. Yes, while it’d be amazing to experience a love like Noah and Allies from the Notebook, or any relationship from those Nicholas Spark (and Nicholas Spark-esque) movies, those relationships can’t exist. I think that that is largely because those are relationships in which each party worships the other above all else. You see the defiance and dishonoring of parents in order to be with their other, fornication, and almost no relationship to the Lord in those relationships. Personally, the only one chick-flick I’ll support is A Walk to Remember, and I don’t give it complete support. I’ve never read the book or even seen the movie in one entire sitting, but I do know (at least this is what I know) that she is a devout Christian, she leads him to Christ, and he shows Christ-like devotion to her. He respects her, her wishes, and her father in the end, and keeps his vow to love her even after she is gone.
I digress.. but my friend, Lauren, words it so nicely. Here is the original post.
note: I don’t know the complete historical accuracy of this, but I know that this is mostly right and I know that this is just the crust of how I imagine it.
You have carried a 75-125 pound wooden post up a hill for a mile or two, in nothing but your underwear, in the hot Mediterranean heat of the day, in public so that people can watch you and therefore laugh at you. You are starving and dehydrated but you can’t stop to put it down and you certainly have no means of getting food or water. Finally you get to the top of the hill, where you can put this heavy post on the ground. And then come the whips. The whips where, instead of one leather knot, a tangle of smaller ropes with blades attached to each end dangle in the heat. After being physical beat up, they whip you. 47 times. Your back has little to no skin left; the bloody flesh made into a pulp dripping from your spine while the flies devour your pain. Now you are told to get up, nailed by your hands to the horrid post you just carried up to the hill upon a cross. More whips and physical blows hit your body, but at this point you don’t avoid it. You merely wince at the pain knowing it won’t stop. The crowd around you has grown to where you can’t see the end; they laugh and yell and make a rodeo of your pain. You find the faces of a few people whom you once taught and mentored in the crowd, which only makes the humiliating action of the crown of thorns worse. they mock you as they press it onto your head, driving each thorn into your skull, causing the blood to matte your hair and drip into the abyss of sweat and tears on your face. Yet you do not protest, do not defend yourself. You are doing this for someone you love. You know the pain is almost too great, but you have no other recourse to save the ones you love. You know this is the only way you can save that guard from en eternity with the devil, the only way you can save the man who laughed at you, the only way you can save the man who drove the nails into your hand and the thorns into your head.
Everyone needs to see this. Worth more than the eight minutes of your time. I’m literally bawling.
Hello everyone! I have WONDERFUL news! God has answered my prayers and my top choice in schools accepted me for next year! This means great APs, a wonderful art program, almost a sorority for my class, a supportive environment I can speak about my faith in, teachers who care, and a place where I belong in the puzzle; I’m not just some outsider. This is actually so wonderful andamazingto write out here because I honestly feel like I can flourish and thrive at this wonderful new school. Of course there will be things I don’t get, like a cheer team (I think), and it’ll be really far away from home, but I’m so excited. I feel like God really wants me to be there. It had a combination of the college/course/internship, organization of students and rigorous academics, as well as the environment and opportunities for me to take. It had the best qualities from some of the other schools I applied too, and when I was there I really felt so welcome. No one was fake, no one hid behind material things, and I didn’t even need to question their genuine interest and kindness towards me. Up until now I thought it was a personality disorder, either avoidant or paranoid PD (because I’ve tested high for those…(I’ve been desperate to see what’s wrong with me) I took a couple of online personality disorder tests (SOO OFF TOPIC RACHEL))
…ANYWHOO I finally feel like I’ll be supported and wanted and loved by at least one person there, and they have a wonderful arts program for when I just need to express my emotions (oh yeah, I do art (like realism and pencils and watercolors, not abstract) for those of you who don’t know me well yet) and they have this really cool internship program where you go to an internship in a field of work you want to pursue or study. It’s basically amazing for me. And a weight off my shoulders. And so relieving. And this has really just given me so many answers and confirmations and reassurances about where I am with God and spiritually.
sing is a bit of an understatement here. I mean when I’m in my room I make up dances just when the Christian radio station is on (I know.. I dance in my room alone to worship music.. my life might as well be on every tabloid because I’m so cool)…
I wonder if I could just dance in His praises in heaven. Just always dance for him.. never get tired, hurt, or stumble. Never feel embarrassed or awkward and self-conscious. I can’t even fathom…
I was just doing this history assignment where I have to track down all this trivial information about six different world religions. Most of the religions have one or two regions that they spread to, but Judaism and Christianity spread so much farther. Judaism was found in the Middle East, parts of Africa, Europe, and so on and so forth. Christianity is found everywhere. Every continent, there is some sort of Christian church.
Another thing, I was doing an assignment on another religion, and it said that religion was the practice of certain ceremonies, rituals and sacrifices. That didn’t make sense to me until I read it about four times. I guess I’m so used to calling my relationship with the Lord my “religion” that I can’t fathom a “religion” where all you do is go through the motions and check off the ceremonies you’ve performed.